The loser theory

Ahh blogging, my friend. It’s been pretty much forever. A wholesome two years of fun, frolic, love, lust, greed, heartbreaks, sniffles, gluttony, whimpering, pride, false pride and of course bankruptcy. Notice how it goes from good to bad to worse. Whatever. My latest entry is an inspiration from the category of populace we all call “losers”.

Now sadly yet frankly, I don’t have a kinder way to put it. A loser is a loser. Period.

Naturally we all avoid them, despise them, taunt them, mock them, imitate them (lowest form of humour, I’m serious) and we do not miss an opportunity to really really hate them.

AHAA! I see a prospect. Bad clothes, bad hair, blah blah, there you have it! A loser!!!

Before I get to the part about there are no losers, let me explain why they play an important role in boosting our self esteem. LOL

I know im going to be thrashed for this post, but no harm meant to anyone. Just for your literary pleasure. Back to topic.

Losers are the means to our social bliss. HOW? Now heres a list of WHY you should hang out with losers

1) Losers have no where to go. And no friends. Hence they worship you for giving them a chance and your precious time.
2) Its a ninety percent chance your friends are ass holes and theyre going to turn on you. You need back up.
3) The losers never turn on you. They respect the fact that you spend time with them and are always ready to return the favour.
4) Losers are like social virgins. Winners in the making. So you have a chance to exercise your social skills or should I say experience. You can mould them the way you want them
5) They laugh at your jokes. Funny or not.
6) You get the highest importance
7) They invite you to visit their hometown which is generally an awesomely scenic place.
8) They are extremely smart as they don’t get a chance to have any fun so they concentrate on academics
9) They teach you the tough (and easy) subjects and do all your homework
10) You teach them how to copy in the exams

Still thinking of more reasons to be friends with a loser! There you have it. Ten big reasons. You can be the boss. Get out there and find the losers and CONSUME them. Haha

Right i forgot to mention why there are no losers in this world and why its wrong to call people losers. (blech. Read social and personal obligation)

People are just different and think different. We all cant be alike and be cool and the miscellaneous slang words we use to describe ourselves. The reason we are different is only because of our lifestyles. We differ in our sense of humour, our ability to understand, our need for attention, our self esteem and so much more. So each of these traits comes in mixed proportions in different people. Thats why the thin people are ugly and the fat people are beautiful. (You might be an exception and your mostly ugly either way. Get over it)

So the moral of the story is, work your way to the foundation of the social ladder. Cause thats where the action is! If you cant or wont, seriously youre a loser. Please read the paragraph dedicated to you and also for your mental healing, do visit www.mommysaysimnotaloserimjustspecial.com

Cheers!